An Old Flame Has Reappeared ...

You know when you sit and chat (and have a few drinks with the girls) and you talk about your first big crush? 

The first guy (or girl) that made your heart go boom diddy boom. 

The first guy that made your face turn bright red, just by walking past. 

The first guy that made you talk you like you had a mouth full of cotton balls, and turned you into someone who couldn't string a sentence together to save your life.

 (Just to clear this up before I get into trouble - I did actually marry the MAN who caused this to happen to me as an adult, but I am actually talking about the very first one. Go on, you know EXACTLY who I'm talking about).

Well, I have just recently rediscovered my "first crush". He was a boy from my high school. A very cute, blonde haired, brown eyed(I think, memory isn't what it used to be and it's entirely possible I'm substituting him with Zac Ephron) young man who was 13, the same age as me. We seemed to have a mutual fascination right from the very first day of school. But it was defintely a distance crush. Neither of us spoke to each other until we were around 15. 

Those were the days!

Do you remember the conversations with your friends - someone would come up in the playground (or undercovered area) and say "Such and such wants to go around with you, do you wanna or not?" and that would really be about it. Such deep and meaningful relationships!!! It's a wonder they ever made it past a week - or did they?

Well, my secret crush and I never got that far. In fact, I think the reason he was a secret crush was because nothing happened to shatter that ideal. 

We didn't speak to each other for 2 years, and when we finally got to a party at an age where we could maybe have a "quick pash" I was seeing one of his mates, and that lasted for 5 years. We would run into each other occassionally at football games (my partner at the time played football with him) and we actually managed to have adult conversations - by that stage I had managed to remove almost all of the cotton balls from my mouth.

I actually managed to forget all about him (unless we were having a girl's night, full of wine, reminiscing about our secret crushes) until my boyfriend (now husband) and I were travelling around Western Australia and ended up in the same small country town as him and his girlfriend. He and my husband started going fishing together.

That was a little uncomfortable, let me tell you. Watching your soul-mate and love of your life wetting a line with your secret crush.

But, I have to tell you - after having a bit of a chat with my secret crush this week - there is no more cotton balls in my mouth, not even an inkling of a boom diddy boom. In fact, I had a giggle and chatted to Himself about it afterwards. His memory of my first secret crush was that he was a bit of an idiot and hoped he'd grown up since we last saw him!  

Funny how he'd managed to sum up this boy so accurately. 

Makes me very, very happy that my first crush managed to stay a "secret" crush.

Maybe your first crush should stay just that way.

Whether it's secret or out there for the world to see. Whether it was George Michael (remember, we are talking the early '80s here - he was just best of mates with Andrew Ridgely !?!), or Dave - the guy in English class that had a flat-top hair cut and wore very tight Faberge jeans and Adidas sneakers, and had a stone-wash denim jacket, these guys (or girls) taught us what to look for, and what NOT to look for in later life.

Now feel free to have a little daydream about your first crush. Go on, enjoy the moment and then thank the Universe for what you have now. You'll appreciate it more I promise!